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Aathmaanam's Mindscape - மனத்தின் கவிதைகள் - Page 64

Poems of the Mind



1.

He looked at the toilet ceiling
he is not going to hang himself
even then he looked

2.

His hand was outside the window of the bus
his fingers fell chopped
titillated
he gathered his fingers
his journey continues again

3.

The crowd was waiting
he too began
The cameras were on
And then suddenly a machine gun
The world stopped for a moment
A crowd gathered around him
A crowd gathered around him too
Within him continued a moment
The gathering ended
and a crowd gathered around him

4.

The sea waves were tirelessly abating
The fish around
started to bite him little by little
From a distance one could only see it happening

5.

The child started crying
the relations were just worth laughing at


Footnote:

The title spawns an interesting question ... Do we write poems from the mind? Osho says that the center of consciousness need not be the mind ... it could be the navel ... it could be any other part for that matter ... Consciousness can use any center of the body.

Poem 1 is simply mind-boggling ... is it a suicide note ... no ... not yet ... a hint at absurdism ... may be.

Poem 2 uses shock value to impress upon the reader and propagates a self confidence campaign at a different level from the view of an existentialist.

Relish on the complexities of Poems 3 and 4. Do we need to understand and interpret all poems? Can't we just experience them and get carried away by the imagery. These are classic examples of the observer pattern explicitly applied with obvious third person narrative of the poet.

Poem 5 is rather a direct statement and a mockery that uses contradiction as a technique. Though it doesn't qualify for poetry when recited separately ... it does becomes one when attached to the fag end of this collection.

Comments

  1. மனதின் கவிதைகள் (Page 64)

    ஆத்மாநாமின் மனதிலிருந்து நேரடியாக ஒலிக்கும் குரலாக இந்த கவிதைகளை நான் பார்க்கிறேன். அவருக்குள் இருந்த மன ஓட்டங்கள் பின்னாளில் மனசிதைவுகளின் சிறு சிறு கூருகளை இந்த கவிதைகளில் பார்க்க முடிகிறது.

    முதல் கவிதையில் அவன் என்பது யார் என்ற புதிராகிறது மேலும் கழிவறையில் ஏன் அவனைக்கு தூக்கில் தொங்கும் எண்ணம் ஏற்படவேண்டும் என்றும் கேட்க தோன்றுகிறது.

    இரண்டாம் கவிதை அதீத கற்பனை கொஞ்சம் அச்சம் கொள்ளவும் செய்யும் கற்பனையாக இருக்கிறது. அதை கோபம் தரும் சொற்கள் அல்லது வசவுகளோடு ஒப்பிட்டலாமா என்றும் தோன்றுகிறது.

    கூட்டதில் இயங்கும் காமிராக்களும் நின்று போகும் தூப்பாக்கிகளௌம் ஏதோ சொல்ல விழைவிகிறது. காந்தியின் படுகொலையையோ இந்திரகாந்தியின் படுகொலையையோ அல்லது பின்னர் நடந்த ராஜிவ் காந்தி படுகொலையையோ எதென்று தெரியாத ஒரு பதட்டம்.

    நான்காம் குறிப்பிலும் ஏதோ ஒரு மரணகுறிப்பு, தன் கையறு நிலை புலப்படுகிறது. இதையே தன்னை தொல்லை செய்யும் மிக பெரும் கவலையோடு ஒப்பிட்டு பார்க்கவும் தோன்றுகிறது.

    ஏதோ ஒரு ரகசியம் தன்னை மீறி வெளிப்படும் போது உணர்ப்படும் உணர்வு.

    Nanda's translation and Footnote is mind blowing.

    ReplyDelete

  2. Which mind is this, that is different from the mind that wrote other poems? These poems feel like a portrait of a bystander. Notes of an non-interfering agent/poet who looks and mutters under his breath. These feel like those mutterings, penned down. He is a keen observer of things happening around him whether it's the architecture of a bathroom or a bus ride or a political rally or relationships. He is a psychic commentator or interpreter of that environment. He is able to see beyond the actual scene in front of him. While these poems are segregated through numbers they sit together in a cohesive Aathmanaam way. Do you think the last two lines:
    The child started crying
    Relationship became laughing stock
    Can these two lines stand alone, if not seen in the context of the other four?
    The mutterings of the poet are dark, dangerous and posses a threat to our own (happy) view of life. The poet is fearless in his imagination of death and its image. He is surrealistic in his images within the poem. Cut-fingers, hanging, dead fish etc…This poem is like a set of surrealistic images strung together to create an uncanny feeling within us…a feeling of uncertainty creeps into us as we go closer and closer to these images. Yet the poet notes it down in a non-chalant way… as matter of fact.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dad’s version
    Poems of the Mind

    1.

    He saw the ceiling of the toilet
    He is not going to hang from there
    Yet, he looked

    2.

    His hands were outside the bus railing
    His fingers fell out
    Trembling he joined his fingers
    And continued with his journey

    3.

    The crowd was waiting
    He also commenced
    The camera where in operation
    Suddenly the machine gun
    The world stopped for a while
    There was a crowd around him
    For a moment it continued within him
    After the meeting there was a crowd around him.

    4.

    The waves of the sea have no rest and where getting tired
    There were a few fish around him
    they started biting
    He could only see
    It standing at a distance

    5.

    The child started crying
    Relationship became laughing stock

    ReplyDelete

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